What's your Life's Dream?

Sunrise @ Oman Road, Dubai, UAE

What's your life's dream? This was the question that had shut me off for a while. Silence washed over me upon hearing this from a newly found friend who; could be out of boredom or interest perhaps, asked me one night. I had even repeated the question to myself, to might fully absorb it or, give myself more time to dig some from my heart and mind of the dreams that could have been buried within long time ago. And finally there, one of the many dreams (I know I have a lot. Yes, a lot to not even thought of one immediately when asked) resurfaced and with the help of my smart mouth, I uttered "I wanna settle in Italy." Settle in Italy? Seriously? We'll get back on this later.

It wasn't actually the first time that such question was thrown on me. Way back; I think December of 2012, I was also asked by an Ex the same thing on our first date (he wasn't yet my boyfriend then) which I likewise have the same reaction; silenced, but have managed to stupidly ask, "Is it normal for a person to not have any dreams?" Really, such time, I can't just think of anything. Then this Ex led on telling like a dream house maybe, a car, business and so on which could surely make one's life convenient. Of course, I would love to have such things in my life, who wouldn't? But on a serious note, I really have not thought of those I was told as dreams. Dreams for me are those that are nearly impossible to realize unless you have very stable resources to suffice the becoming of such dreams.

Now, let's talk about this "I wanna settle in Italy" dream. Here's I think why I have this dream. My growing up was actually filled with stories about Italy from two of my aunts who are both Nuns. Way back, I was their only niece. I was actually the first niece on my father side so you can imagine, I have been showered of hugs and kisses and was a bit spoiled of their love. On their vacations, I always got loads of keepsakes; chocolates, things, miniatures of just anything that I still have kept in a glass cabinet back home, as well as stories of how Italy as a country and its people. So basically, I grew up with this little Italy world in my mind which I believe will always be within until I have gone there. Of which am planning to visit next year, actually.

Anyhow, just this afternoon, me and one of my closest friends were chatting the time away. We talked so many of random things as if we don't get to talk a lot. And, all of a sudden, I made her silent as well with the same question about a dream in life. I told her about these guys who have asked me such and how I thought and reacted to it, and she had said the same. She was stunned as well, silenced and was in deep thought about the dreams that she had but have forgotten for years that she couldn't even land on one immediately. We've discussed as to how life's dreams change when you're little until you are officially an adult; which means the presence of bills and of somehow taking consideration of some people's (could be immediate family) needs. Indeed, as she said, with so much things in hand to be attended to in the now, the future goal could be at stake depending on the gravity of the attention the present needs. And, I just could not agree more.

How about you? What is your life's dream?

Boom Clap - the sound of my heart!

Sunset @ Open Beach, Jumeirah, Dubai, UAE 

This is just a glimpse of what my heart has been into these days [insert rocking hand sign! - does any body still use this? LOL].

Well, as I am already here in a place so far away from home (Dubai); which is a whole new world to me the very moment I got off the plane until two months (i think) and so far has been good (and best) until today. I toured around (haven't toured the whole country yet, which of course am planning to. Inshallah! But, have been to many places already since my 4 months of stay compare to others who have been here for years. I got a job; which I constantly whine about, for it's too boring for me and not at my target pay. However, if am to compare my state to others, I can actually be considered lucky enough. Oh, well I am thankful, though. I've found a place that is just what I want as my haven; clean, not congested although the rent is sort of higher than other places but the peace of mind I am getting from my current haven is way beyond any amount.

Anyhow, you may call it fate, destiny or just my being too friendly but I made friends with someone here whom I have been going out with for the last 3 months (already?), who has been my ticket to the many places I have visited. He has been so good since the time we met until now. And, I am just so thankful for that.

My being here, has actually tarnished my relationship with someone back home. Or, should I say, have ruined. Could it be the distance? Could it be the absence? Of, physical touch, eye to eye contacts, presence and all? Or the time difference, perhaps? There are those moments wherein I was so engrossed talking with him and many of those time where I found myself ignoring him. Haven't I missed him too much to get fidgety every time he demands my attention? Or just loved him less to dismiss the times he wanted to spend with me (virtually). Regardless, it is off now and i am already shut out of his life. I blame myself and not. And, feel so sorry for him but it was the best thing to do for myself and for him. [insert feeling MEH emoji]

Anyway, enough with being MEH in me. As I am like a bee hopping from flower (website) to flower sucking nectar (information) to fill my always craving bumpy sack, I came across with one of elitedaily.com's articles: It Happened to Me: I Deleted My Facebook and Turned My Life Into A Fairy Tale. This article was too timely to not get interested into. I know a lot of people who have not actually deleted their facebook accounts but just have deactivated or just ditched the said social media for already a while. It got me interested for i too am one of those people. Yes, i wasn't in facebook for just 3 days only but I am telling you, I am so tempted to get back, always! I am so that addicted already. And, it is time to really tone down and focus on something productive. Well, about this something productive, I have been meaning to read again, like really lost myself in another dimension but every time I get home, I found myself hovering through facebook.

Getting back to the article, upon reading all the way from top to the bottom, there's this line which really caught my attention. And it's this: I fell in love with the world, with my life, with everything … and with a girl (in my case: a boy). The catch: I’ll never get to be with her. I’m not good enough, it’s unrequited and it’s not worth risking an incredible friendship, but that’s okay. I truly want nothing but the best for her and to see her happy, and if other guys that make her happy, that’s more than enough for me.

There. The exact situation of my heart. Boom Clap, indeed.