I Wanted To Cry

i wanted to cry

but tears were somewhere but my eyes

i reached deep down for a push of emotions to surface

but to no avail

i wanted to cry

not just to clean my eyes

nor that for i was hurt or in pain

i was not

i wanted to cry

for they say a tear makes you feel light

for it heaves out whatever is weighing you down

whatever, vague. what are these whatever, really?

i wanted to cry

to feel human, perhaps?

for i was called cold-hearted, emotionless, logical

the list goes on but nah, lame.

i wanted to cry

that silent cry which could rip your throat out from suppression so no one could hear

that silent cry that tires the insides and burns the eyes

that silent and draining cry that makes you still feel crying afterwards 

i wanted to cry

but stopped and thought, what for?

again, i dug in for reasons that could justify the cravings for tears

still, to no avail

i wanted to cry

and you came across my mind
and i smiled

crap! even you.

even you, haven't given me reasons to.