Saturday, December 13, 2014

Tormenting. Pain.

Nothing is more crushing than being betrayed by the single person you have trusted wholeheartedly, by someone whom you have shared your dreams and working to be in your future with. That when the simplest rehashing of all the precious moments will put you into an unimaginable, excruciating pain. No. More than that. Beyond that. There is just no word that could come close to describe that horrifying feeling.

It is one thing that I wish no one would go through. It is one thing that I wish I am not going through, right now. It hurts. So much. Every bit of me flinch to the thought of you. It is burning me from the inside. It is making me curl up to the tiniest that I wish I could turn into until I disappear so I could no longer feel the tormenting stabs it caused me.

How could you? 

You were so good - or I may say, great - in feigning reality. You were clever enough to have clothed me with vulnerability, took advantage and amass every bit of respect and rationality I had for myself. You played me in so many ways that I was so oblivious about. You were definitely a master. You were extremely manipulative that have made me heedless of everything but you.

What I have unconsciously become was what I most dread about. All the while, my hunches have not failed me yet I decided not to listen to them. My instinct might have had exhausted itself in me when I was enamored by the glory you have me tasted. You were wonderful. So wonderful that have made myself trapped in your glorious deceitful controlling glow like that of smitten moth to the dangerous flame.


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