Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

I Had a Dream About You

 i had a dream about you
I had a dream about you.

You and I climbed up to the tree house;
of greatest height that made me scared to look down.
Had a glimpse to the other side
and got mesmerized by the crystal clear lake water beneath us.
Watched the sun rose until so above us.
Finally descended, on the ground now
and, where have the trunk gone which we held onto climbing up?

Monday, August 25, 2014

This One's For You, wherever you are.

♫♪ This one's for you wherever you are ♪♪ Okay, I really have no idea why I kept singing and humming this song. And, I don't even know how it got inside my head in the first place! I just heard myself singing that line when I stood up from the counter, grabbed a bite-sized apple and tossed into my mouth and gone to the pantry to make my morning delight, Coffee. What's with the song? Why this song? When I got back in front of my pc, curiosity must be fed and on to search on the what about of the song, I did.

So, This One's For You is a 1976 song from Barry Manilow. Oh, the old soul perched in. This is so likely though. Yet again, why this song? I suppose this is the act of subconscious me so I dug within for answers. Hmmm, it seems like the bearer just blindsided its heart and mind yet both; the latter, simply know how to take matters refloat just very smoothly. Good job girlies!

Well, I guess (??) this is because of someone I have been meaning to put into words, for days already. And coincidentally, my circumstances with that someone was pulled off last night; dragging everything unto the surface to be heeded on (??). How so? I am way past that someone. Or, maybe not? Or, maybe, just maybe such circumstance got a slice of the egocentric me; who's still in denial that the guards have been down and arrows came flying in.

Anyway, you might be wondering about the song. Here below is the lyrics, and seriously I'm still confused, why this song? LOL

This One's For You
This one will never sell, they'll never understand
I don't even sing it well, I try but I just can't
But I sing it every night and I fight to keep it in
'Cause this one's for you, this one's for you
I've done a hundred songs from fantasies to lies
But this one's so real for me that I'm the one who cries
And I sing it every night and I fight to hide the tears
'Cause this one's for you, this one's for you
This one's for you, wherever you are
To say that nothings been the same, since we've been apart
This one's for all the love we once knew
Like everything else, I have this one's for you, oh
I've got it all it seems for all it means to me
But I sing of things I miss and things that used to be
And I wonder ever night if you might just miss me too
And I sing for you, I sing for you
This one's for you wherever I go
To say the things I should have said, things that you should know
This one's to say that all I can do is hope that you will hear me sing
'Cause this ones' for you
This one's for you, wherever you are
To say that nothings been the same, since we've been apart
This one's for all the love we once knew
Like everything else, I have this ones for you   

Thursday, August 21, 2014

The WHYs Behind Our LIEs

From the moment our little brains begin to process and understand the words that our parents gab, was nearly the time we have been taught that lying is bad.

And now, when we have come of age, on our right thinking, perhaps; when we can already justify and reason our way out with logic and rationalization, is lying still bad? Or is it now, when we have to sort lies in different categories to justify lying.

It is evident that people lie. Everyone fibs and tell tales, but why do we have to? If we are to base on our own situations, we definitely know deep down why we lie. To add, here are some of what I found to know more about the dreading and not-so-dreading truth about lying.

Then evaluate yourself. Are you already one of the Pretty Little Liars? Or, you are now living in the World of Lies you have created.

Do you know what is more painstaking than being lied to? It is knowing that you do not deserve the truth.

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

How Angry Can You Get?

© Facebook Sticker
"You may think your only choices are to swallow your anger or throw it in someone’s face, but there’s a third option: You can just let it go, and only when you do that is it really gone and you can move forward." - Ted Mosby (How I Met Your Mother)

Anger. We are all vulnerable to anger. Even the one with the kindest heart succumbs to anger. When the level of tolerance is pushed to its limit, emotional outburst takes place. Myriad of reasons could actually make someone angry, even the littlest of all things. What provoked the anger could make the recipient less of a person although depending on its gravity. And this happens when all portals of communications leading to understanding and patience are already closed turning the angered irrational. But the thing is, we are in control of ourselves. We, all of us, are capable to manage anger. However, we differ in ways on anger management. Many could just brush anger off their shoulders and others feed it big time.

In one of the episodes of How I Met Your Mother, where Ted Mosby (one of the lead casts) was left at the altar by his fiancee; to get back to her past love, how he dealt with anger have simply shown the kind of person he is. He was at first in denial to the rage that was building inside him. Escaping his sullen and gloomy disposition by making a facade that he was fine. Entertaining everything as his escape hatches from the reality that he was betrayed by his betrothed. He thought that he could just walk it off but with friends' pep talks, anger filled his heart and on to hurl it to someone he went. Yet, to just fully realize he has to let anger go after learning that he was dumped for a beautiful reason, LOVE; of an unresolved past. Which makes him a sensible, mature man.

In my case, I have a high temperament. I easily  get cranky and gab my way through its provocateur. If the latter could still hear me blab, that means anger has not consumed me yet. But when days have passed without hearing a single word from me, that maybe is when I am already busy closing all my doors or building the strongest wall. I can be immature by not minding someone's presence at all or go irrational by shutting someone out of my life, until reasons sink in.

How about you? Have you, as well, crossed the border of irrationality when you get angry? 

Saturday, August 16, 2014

Platonic: To the Infinity and Beyond

I was at a Metro Station with a friend when I received a call for a job interview. At that time, my mind was still fresh and so welcoming of whatever this new place laid my path. I loved the bus ride, the metro, the city view from the upper railings, the tall buildings, the chitchats with whoever I sat beside with, and just everything. Oh how I missed the optimistic Me back then! So, I got another job interview. Another, yes. I have gone through a lot of interviews and I love coming to interviews. I just couldn't settle with the pay they were offering and I was not closing my doors yet so I was like a bee again, hovering around until my nectar sack is satisfied.

So often that I find myself looking outside through the windows of trains, absorbing everything that appeared before my eyes with thoughts came flooding in. Why am I here? Is something big here for me? Or, this will just turn to be one of the many avenues of being ecstatic initially and goes boring eventually. Regardless, since I got hunches that I'll have an easy life here, so why not just enjoy my stay?

April 6, 2014, DHCC, was when and where that call for a job interview took place. This was where I met the most awesome creature; as he described himself, whom i have been hanging out since like around a week or two after the interview until now. He is a boy and a man of 25. This boy in him is present most of the time; which keeps me entertained and the man in him resurface only when the need arises. Let's define the last four words, it is when certain situations need the views and opinions of a man.

Attraction played a role in starting our friendship. Yes, I was honestly attracted to him. But not the kind of attraction for a boyfriend who you would like to get kinky with (oops) eventually. I regarded him as a boy on our first meeting for some reasons i couldn't spill (insert evil grin). But in all fairness he was a smarty pants and I felt his good aura so, it was no biggie checking him out on Facebook. And, I did find him. We started chatting and gone to tea for the first time and so on. 

As obvious as it is, I was the culprit of this friendship. However his being smarty, good-natured, crazy plus his acceptance on my oozing weirdness and giving in to my whims row this friendship until this very day.
Never had I thought that I could have the kind of friendship to any guy as what I have with him, especially here in this very foreign land. I was actually surrounded with guy friends back home, but that is entirely a different thing, on the first thought. Yet as time passed by, I realized that this kind of friendship is not much of different with my other guy friends. However, I have high regard and consider it special; in the sense that it cuts through language borders, culture and beliefs.

Also, being in a place with diverse people made me fully aware the kind of a lady friend I am. It is clear to me now that there is really something in some gals that makes some guys comfortable being with them surpassing attraction and all those mushy feelings that lovers have for each other (you may call it romantic). And, having a pack of guys friends back home and one here (for now), I am definitely one of those gals.

Last night, a very dear friend of mine happened to talk about his situation with someone from his support group made me rummage the web to fully understand him. Yet, found out something that is just fitting to what my mind would like to divulge these past two days. And, here it is: 

Deep friendships between friends of the opposite gender are possible and are evidenced every day. While there may be times that both of you have feelings that go beyond the platonic nature of your relationship, what matters is that neither of you act on them and that you maintain respect for one another. Platonic relationships are incredible when they work well – a non-judgmental friend of the opposite sex can offer you much in the way of advice, support, conversation, and differing perspectives. ~ WikiHow

Cheers to Friendship! Cheers to Life!

Friday, August 15, 2014

The Traveler Trapped Within: Rebuilding Jerusalem

Sunrise @ Dubai
Had hit the hay so late last night and have greeted the morning light at brunch time. Thank God it's Friday! It is weekend here in Dubai and almost everyone's at rest. Started my day with; of course, coffee and a homemade burger. Did the laundry and clean a bit. My place is not that of a hard work to polish; thanks to my roomie who, apparently, is as paranoid as I am, when it comes to joggling our room upside down in cleaning up. So as I was going to and fro hanging out my clothes outside terrace, I have noticed bits of dirt and feathers of pigeons in my upper bunk bed. I climbed up to have them removed, but my eyes caught the presence of the Bible that's just sitting there since the time I transferred to this apartment. Nostalgic as I was; haven't opened a Bible since, errrr, time immemorial. Guilty here. Anyhow, so I decided to randomly open it and thought of whatever page my hands and eyes land into, that's God's message of the day for me; as how people in Facebook do. And, I got this:

Old Testament
Nehemia 2:11-20
And I went on to Jerusalem, and for three days I did not tell anyone what God had inspired me to do for Jerusalem. Then in the middle of the night I got up and went out, taking a few of my companions with me. The only animal we tool was the donkey that I rode on. It was still night as I left the city through the valley Gate on the west and went south past through Dragon's Fountain to the Rubbish Gate. As I went, I inspected the broken walls of the city and the gates that have been destroyed by fire. Then on the east side of the city, I went north to the Fountain Gate and the King's Pool. The donkey I was riding could not find any path through the rubble, so I went down into the Kidron Valley and rode along, looking at the wall. Then I returned the way I come and went back into the city through the Valley Gate

None of the local officials knew where I had gone or what I had been doing. So far I had not said anything to any of my fellow Jews - the priests, the leaders, the officials, or anyone else who would be taking part of the work. But now I said to them, "See what trouble we are in because Jerusalem is in ruins and its gates are destroyed! Let's rebuild the city walls and put an end to our disgrace." And I told them how God had been with me and helped me, and what the emperor had said to me.

They responded, "Let's start rebuilding!" And they got ready to start the work.

When Sanballat, Tobiah, and an Arab named Geshem heard what were planning to do, they laughed at us and said, "What do you think you're doing? Are you going to rebel against the emperor?"

I answered, "The God of heaven will give us success. We are his servants, and we are going to start building. But you have no right to any property in Jerusalem, and you have no share in its traditions."

I am just not very sure but I think I had this message as well when we had this Senacle back home. It was almost the same, as I remember it, it has also Jerusalem and talked of travel.

Anyway, so it is about going to another place again. Is it just coincidence that I always end up with passages, quotes or messages about travelling when I look for one? As I was also brought to the page 45 of the 1st Book of Game of Thrones, Fire and Ice which says, "Come to the south with me, and I'll teach you how to laugh again."

So, is there a traveler trapped within me who can't anymore take the stagnancy of the bearer? Whom, by random quotes and messages wanted to come out and be attended to? And, how about this rebuilding? Am I to rebuild anybody else's life? Or, mine's? Uhm. Let's see. Let's see.

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

What's your Life's Dream?

Sunrise @ Oman Road, Dubai, UAE
What's your life's dream? This was the question that had shut me off for a while. Silence washed over me upon hearing this from a newly found friend who; could be out of boredom or interest perhaps, asked me one night. I had even repeated the question to myself, to might fully absorb it or, give myself more time to dig some from my heart and mind of the dreams that could have been buried within long time ago. And finally there, one of the many dreams (I know I have a lot. Yes, a lot to not even thought of one immediately when asked) resurfaced and with the help of my smart mouth, I uttered "I wanna settle in Italy." Settle in Italy? Seriously? We'll get back on this later.

It wasn't actually the first time that such question was thrown on me. Way back; I think December of 2012, I was also asked by an Ex the same thing on our first date (he wasn't yet my boyfriend then) which I likewise have the same reaction; silenced, but have managed to stupidly ask, "Is it normal for a person to not have any dreams?" Really, such time, I can't just think of anything. Then this Ex led on telling like a dream house maybe, a car, business and so on which could surely make one's life convenient. Of course, I would love to have such things in my life, who wouldn't? But on a serious note, I really have not thought of those I was told as dreams. Dreams for me are those that are nearly impossible to realize unless you have very stable resources to suffice the becoming of such dreams.

Now, let's talk about this "I wanna settle in Italy" dream. Here's I think why I have this dream. My growing up was actually filled with stories about Italy from two of my aunts who are both Nuns. Way back, I was their only niece. I was actually the first niece on my father side so you can imagine, I have been showered of hugs and kisses and was a bit spoiled of their love. On their vacations, I always got loads of keepsakes; chocolates, things, miniatures of just anything that I still have kept in a glass cabinet back home, as well as stories of how Italy as a country and its people. So basically, I grew up with this little Italy world in my mind which I believe will always be within until I have gone there. Of which am planning to visit next year, actually.

Anyhow, just this afternoon, me and one of my closest friends were chatting the time away. We talked so many of random things as if we don't get to talk a lot. And, all of a sudden, I made her silent as well with the same question about a dream in life. I told her about these guys who have asked me such and how I thought and reacted to it, and she had said the same. She was stunned as well, silenced and was in deep thought about the dreams that she had but have forgotten for years that she couldn't even land on one immediately. We've discussed as to how life's dreams change when you're little until you are officially an adult; which means the presence of bills and of somehow taking consideration of some people's (could be immediate family) needs. Indeed, as she said, with so much things in hand to be attended to in the now, the future goal could be at stake depending on the gravity of the attention the present needs. And, I just could not agree more.

How about you? What is your life's dream?

Boom Clap - the sound of my heart!

Sunset @ Open Beach, Jumeirah, Dubai, UAE 
This is just a glimpse of what my heart has been into these days [insert rocking hand sign! - does any body still use this? LOL].

Well, as I am already here in a place so far away from home (Dubai); which is a whole new world to me the very moment I got off the plane until two months (i think) and so far has been good (and best) until today. I toured around (haven't toured the whole country yet, which of course am planning to. Inshallah! But, have been to many places already since my 4 months of stay compare to others who have been here for years. I got a job; which I constantly whine about, for it's too boring for me and not at my target pay. However, if am to compare my state to others, I can actually be considered lucky enough. Oh, well I am thankful, though. I've found a place that is just what I want as my haven; clean, not congested although the rent is sort of higher than other places but the peace of mind I am getting from my current haven is way beyond any amount.

Anyhow, you may call it fate, destiny or just my being too friendly but I made friends with someone here whom I have been going out with for the last 3 months (already?), who has been my ticket to the many places I have visited. He has been so good since the time we met until now. And, I am just so thankful for that.

My being here, has actually tarnished my relationship with someone back home. Or, should I say, have ruined. Could it be the distance? Could it be the absence? Of, physical touch, eye to eye contacts, presence and all? Or the time difference, perhaps? There are those moments wherein I was so engrossed talking with him and many of those time where I found myself ignoring him. Haven't I missed him too much to get fidgety every time he demands my attention? Or just loved him less to dismiss the times he wanted to spend with me (virtually). Regardless, it is off now and i am already shut out of his life. I blame myself and not. And, feel so sorry for him but it was the best thing to do for myself and for him. [insert feeling MEH emoji]

Anyway, enough with being MEH in me. As I am like a bee hopping from flower (website) to flower sucking nectar (information) to fill my always craving bumpy sack, I came across with one of's articles: It Happened to Me: I Deleted My Facebook and Turned My Life Into A Fairy Tale. This article was too timely to not get interested into. I know a lot of people who have not actually deleted their facebook accounts but just have deactivated or just ditched the said social media for already a while. It got me interested for i too am one of those people. Yes, i wasn't in facebook for just 3 days only but I am telling you, I am so tempted to get back, always! I am so that addicted already. And, it is time to really tone down and focus on something productive. Well, about this something productive, I have been meaning to read again, like really lost myself in another dimension but every time I get home, I found myself hovering through facebook.

Getting back to the article, upon reading all the way from top to the bottom, there's this line which really caught my attention. And it's this: I fell in love with the world, with my life, with everything … and with a girl (in my case: a boy). The catch: I’ll never get to be with her. I’m not good enough, it’s unrequited and it’s not worth risking an incredible friendship, but that’s okay. I truly want nothing but the best for her and to see her happy, and if other guys that make her happy, that’s more than enough for me.

There. The exact situation of my heart. Boom Clap, indeed.