Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Boom Clap - the sound of my heart!

Sunset @ Open Beach, Jumeirah, Dubai, UAE 
This is just a glimpse of what my heart has been into these days [insert rocking hand sign! - does any body still use this? LOL].

Well, as I am already here in a place so far away from home (Dubai); which is a whole new world to me the very moment I got off the plane until two months (i think) and so far has been good (and best) until today. I toured around (haven't toured the whole country yet, which of course am planning to. Inshallah! But, have been to many places already since my 4 months of stay compare to others who have been here for years. I got a job; which I constantly whine about, for it's too boring for me and not at my target pay. However, if am to compare my state to others, I can actually be considered lucky enough. Oh, well I am thankful, though. I've found a place that is just what I want as my haven; clean, not congested although the rent is sort of higher than other places but the peace of mind I am getting from my current haven is way beyond any amount.

Anyhow, you may call it fate, destiny or just my being too friendly but I made friends with someone here whom I have been going out with for the last 3 months (already?), who has been my ticket to the many places I have visited. He has been so good since the time we met until now. And, I am just so thankful for that.

My being here, has actually tarnished my relationship with someone back home. Or, should I say, have ruined. Could it be the distance? Could it be the absence? Of, physical touch, eye to eye contacts, presence and all? Or the time difference, perhaps? There are those moments wherein I was so engrossed talking with him and many of those time where I found myself ignoring him. Haven't I missed him too much to get fidgety every time he demands my attention? Or just loved him less to dismiss the times he wanted to spend with me (virtually). Regardless, it is off now and i am already shut out of his life. I blame myself and not. And, feel so sorry for him but it was the best thing to do for myself and for him. [insert feeling MEH emoji]

Anyway, enough with being MEH in me. As I am like a bee hopping from flower (website) to flower sucking nectar (information) to fill my always craving bumpy sack, I came across with one of's articles: It Happened to Me: I Deleted My Facebook and Turned My Life Into A Fairy Tale. This article was too timely to not get interested into. I know a lot of people who have not actually deleted their facebook accounts but just have deactivated or just ditched the said social media for already a while. It got me interested for i too am one of those people. Yes, i wasn't in facebook for just 3 days only but I am telling you, I am so tempted to get back, always! I am so that addicted already. And, it is time to really tone down and focus on something productive. Well, about this something productive, I have been meaning to read again, like really lost myself in another dimension but every time I get home, I found myself hovering through facebook.

Getting back to the article, upon reading all the way from top to the bottom, there's this line which really caught my attention. And it's this: I fell in love with the world, with my life, with everything … and with a girl (in my case: a boy). The catch: I’ll never get to be with her. I’m not good enough, it’s unrequited and it’s not worth risking an incredible friendship, but that’s okay. I truly want nothing but the best for her and to see her happy, and if other guys that make her happy, that’s more than enough for me.

There. The exact situation of my heart. Boom Clap, indeed.